Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
