I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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