Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
