what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
