Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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