Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Your face is a jimmy john
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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