why didn't you poke me back
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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