U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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