kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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