i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
