last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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