Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
