so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
