She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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