But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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