Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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