Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
