Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
