so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
where am i from again
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
