And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
