I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
