great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
