Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
