thus making me awesome and them whores
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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