This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
