He passed out mid-signature
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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