I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
