So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Acid is not a monday night drug
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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