But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hate all girls vehemently.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
