Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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