Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
