the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
