i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
