We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
