I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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