Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i think im in europe. pls send help
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
