we have officially lost it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
