tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
