Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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