how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
