it hurts more in the daytime
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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