what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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