The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
