There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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