i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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