How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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