this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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