$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
