jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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