Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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