I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
