God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize
