Your face is a jimmy john
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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