god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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