I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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