U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
