I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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