Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sarcasm needs its own font
we're making bets on your personal life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
