Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
