If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
