standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize