i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
