Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
