I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
