No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
